Today

Today. . .

Today I listened to music from my past. It was cold and moody. Emotions of long past had resurfaced somewhere in the night. The music felt natural. It felt new. As I listened each song pulled me deeper in my past- not to specific memories, but to vague emotions and senses I forgot I had. My body swelled with each harmony and lyric, so much that tears began to fill my eyes in regular frequency.

What is more powerful than the music of a forgotten moment? When the memory has been purged and suppressed into the deepest recess of the heart it forgets nothing. It just lay there in wait. Waiting for a moment of vulnerability to leap to the front of your heart and start screaming “FEEL ME!” Remember me.” And you do. Despite your best efforts to hold it back and silence the thought, you do remember.

And then the music ends, and like a worn out child after throwing a tantrum your heart rests. You wipe the moisture from you eyes and face and change to music to interests current. And as your heart begins to lighten and your head returns to it's normal water level, your mind burns with thought. All those moments since that time- those forgotten times- all the bright moments since then illuminate you. “Life is good.” You say to yourself. Yet the sadness still lingers a little. And you know that to some degree it always will. But it will live forever in those moments and songs where they were so natural together- like they were written for each other. And there they stay, waiting to be recalled for you at a moments notice and the click of a button, when you want to scream “Feel me!” “Remember me.”