a slight change of pace

I know I go on about all sorts of sad things all the time on this blog- it's just that those are the things I need to express; but I wouldn't want people to think that that is all I see in the world, and my life. And so, for those of you who get bogged down by my stories- I apologize- and submit to you the following. Let me start off by acknowledging the many good people I have been blessed to know/have known. For the friends I have now, who have stood by me I am eternally grateful. (you know who you are- i hope) But not everyone is destined to follow along the same paths. Some people are only there for a time, and then move on toward their own destiny. This doesn't lessen their visit at all- in fact, it makes it all the more precious. My personality is such that most people I have met in my life only stayed in it for a short while. I've met thousands upon thousands of people I'm sure, and I remember so many faces, and so many moments that will never be remembered outright in writing or stories. And everyone of them has contributed to my life, offering lessons to be learned and taught. We as humans have a fascination with misery though, and often times it's the good stories that get left out of the memoir, replaced by the bad. I believe this is because we are more strictly motivated by the awful to effect change, than we often are by those heartwarming stories of love and kindness. I made the statement a few days ago to a friend, that I don't really want to be happy, because happy people rarely change anything in the world. (that's a backwards way of thinking I know- and I've only just recently had it presented so bluntly) I won't defend that position, because I know it must be flawed. Nonetheless, the things that upset me are the ones that give me words to speak and songs to write. And it's in those dark places I take my mind that I look out upon the good and am able to find meaning in it. Otherwise I have a terrible problem of letting it all just slip by with out smelling the roses. I realize that not everyone is this way- and i realize i'm a little backwards in the head- but, that is who I am. What I find absolutely fascinating is the effect that my outlook on life at any given moment can have on so many people; good and bad. Remember this: when a sad moment comes upon us, it can be preserved for eternity by words written- but because those words are the only ones written, it does not mean that eternity has been sad. When a moment of joy strikes me, I do not waste it by focusing on writing it down. It's in moments of joy and happiness that the books are closed and put away, because we are too busy enjoying life. So for those of you who read this blog, and wonder about my state of being, you needn't worry. My life isn't lived in these words, these are just some of the ones i'd like to leave behind, that don't always have a place in other works. My point for creating anything is to get its audience to see it with different eyes than their own. That is the essence of art.