May 27 2009 Hope is an awful thing- the year started off full of it. Blindly I dove right in. But soon enough the promise of a friend would turn hollow and vague- even into betrayal and lies. But let me be lead on a while. . .
There is an old familiar home in which I have sought refuge many times over the years. It was once a place of freedom and friends, but had turned into a prison for souls. Mine was trapped there for some time- until an Angel pulled me out from the darkness, and with no small sacrifice to herself. But I never lost faith in her- and she has proven time and again her virtues. Together we've returned to that house. But it's foundations were unstable and heading for collapse. Yet there is always some one willing to take on the task of mending its mortar. And so another came. He came like a storm- the great pacifier. But behind his powerful smile was the grinning of a wicked man. He lied, he cheated, he stole. He played like a little child as if people were his toys, pitting one against another and seeking ti destroy them both for his enjoyment.
It was in the presence of this man that I was built up in hope. And as one thing separated itself from my life so did others, but never hope. Even as new love fails my heart, and old love tears at it, I still find hope in it all. But soon lies told with a smile became clear to be just lies. And promises became smiles. Hope? Hope became denial. Denial became life. Life became futile.
-A/C
