who is hillbilly flyer?

Where did the name hillbilly flyer come from? (you didn't ask, but I'm gonna tell you)

I was raised in a one room shack with an out house out back, with my 5 brothers & sister, along with my parents.

That was life until I was 9. I am a literal hillbilly.

From 9 to 19 I lived everywhere from California to Arkansas, over 21 moves in those ten years. Most places didn't last more than a month or two.

At 17 my parents settled im Arkansas with me and my younger brother. We lived in tents & a small camper til we built another small shack, and eventually a small home.

My father and I placed every cinder block, salvaged every 2x4, hammered every nail.

Arkansas was my first "home" at 17.

At 19 my parents divorced.

I found myself living in a rented room with my two older brothers in Utah.

I had no education. My parents gave up on trying to keep me in school after the 3rd grade. I barely had a pair of shoes to my name.

Around this time I began having a recurring dream that would keep my nights full for the next ten years- the hardest years of my life.

In the dream I would always will myself into flight. It was hard. It took all my concentration. I often wavered and fell, but I always flew in my dreams. I felt powerful and free.

Over the next ten years I struggled with education (trying to go to college,) trying to find steady work that had a future, figuring our how social structures work (how to have, make & be friends,) how to date, how to open a bank account, how to drive in traffick, and how to find sanity with mental illness triggered by stress.

In these years I struggled with addiction to porn, I lost my faith, I was haunted by demons and kept company with evil spirits, I struggled to see reality from paranoia, I lost my opportunity to serve my country, I failed college, I got into debt, I became homeless, and I tried to kill myself.

Through all of this I still had the dream. I wrote music. And I had one friend who genuinely loved me, Nyrie. She saved my life.

Hillbilly Flyer was the name I performed open mics under. It was born out if that dream that gave me hope through all those hard times. It gave me a taste of what was possible and planted a seed that never died.

Even though my music never turned into anything, hillbilly flyer still lives on. I've abandoned the capital letters because I realized that ego was the source of all my suffering. At 19 I didn't know how to ask for help. I was too busy being scared to be humble.

At 32 I met the love of my life. My Arkansas princess who I met by chance at 15. Even though I only lived there for a month or two, she remembered me & I remembered her. We've now been together for 13 years and married in 2018.

I am learning to fly. It's still hard at times but I'm making good progress. At 19 I would have never thought I'd be where I am today.

I am hillbillyflyer. Ever changing, ever growing. Going up.